Dear Jane,
This is your post-run optimistic self talking...YOU CAN DO THIS! Honestly though, even the pessimist in you thinks it's possible.
All I want from you tomorrow is to not give up. Don't stop. Don't think. Just run. JFDI. Run as best as you can and don't you dare lose focus. The goal is to finish. Just finish. This is your first race. This is the first time that you've committed yourself to running and are completing this goal. It's a small goal, yes but you went from not running...not even liking running...and now you're wearing a number card and a runner's tag and you're an official runner. It's big for you and I don't want you to forget that just because it's a relatively small feat.
Don't run anybody else's race but your own. Yes, there's going to be a lot of people there. There's going to be a lot of people that are going to be faster than you, leaner than you, tougher than you. But there's nothing you can do about that during your race. It's YOUR race and the only person you're running against is yourself. Ohkay, technically, you're running against thousands of other people but your main opponent is yourself. Your mantra for tomorrow: It's MY race.
Be kind to yourself. You know your limits and you also know how far you can push them. Push them...but listen to your heart. Not your mind. It's going to tell you that you should stop. You can't possibly keep that pace. You're so stupid for even trying. But don't stop. Slow down if you have to, but don't stop. It sounds cruel not to stop when you think you want to/have to but you're underestimating yourself. Your cruelty in this case will be a kindness later when you look back and see what you've done. Pain is temporary; pride is forever. And if you really feel like you can't hold on remember: A hero holds on one minute longer!
Before you know it, you'll be done. It's going to be awesome. Who cares how long it took you? (Though I'm sure you can do it in 35 minutes, which is a satisfactory average time for you.) You're going to enter that stadium and run past the finish line and it's going to feel awesome! Now the only thing you have to worry about it your finish line pose...you suck at those kind of things.
Yours Truly,
Yourself
So today I picked up my number card at Nakajima Park. Before I did, I did a 20 minute run around the park to get myself psyched for the race tomorrow. The run was great- I felt good. I hadn't run in four days and I was a little worried that I had shot myself in the foot by being so lazy. The weather was great too. I ran 2.75K in 20 minutes. Pretty slow pace but hey, I just wanted to let off some steam and reassure myself that I could still run after 4 days of no running. I kept a good 7 min/km pace so tomorrow's time shouldn't be so terrible. The adrenaline could go both ways for me though- getting me excited and making me run faster or making me feel discouraged and slower.
I felt the adrenaline just going into the sports center to pick up my number card and tag. There were so many people picking up their stuff too. People of all shapes and sizes and ages. (Let's not get too crazy though, most shapes were athletic and most sizes were small...both descriptions I don't really identify with.) It made me feel...I don't know. "Bad" feelings I guess.
Overall, I'm excited to be running tomorrow. I know I can finish and I'm proud of myself for starting. Tomorrow I don't want to think about my body issues or my adequacy issues. Tomorrow I want to celebrate my achievement and not think about it's relativity. I still haven't decided what to do post-race. I think I'm going to pick up a box of Betty Crocker cake mix at the import store to make cupcakes though. Hahaha.
Actually I was so excited that I told Ryan that I was thinking about doing the half marathon next year. That's a far cry from the thought I had this week which was that I would quit running after the race because I feel I could do more effective exercises with my time and also because I don't really like running. Anyway, let's see how it all pans out...
Think fast thoughts for me tomorrow!
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