November has been a truly busy month. And this last week and 2 days is not going to be any different.
I had Sports Day and all the prep that goes into that at the beginning...then a naginata competition in the middle...my coworker's wedding and the prep for that at the end and now I'm at the last stretch of studying going into my Japanese exam.
Listing it like that makes it feel like not so much...but honestly there was other stuff like trying to get that 50,000 word count (not happening- I'm at nearly 10,000 with no hope to even think about setting time aside to write more), trying to keep a regular exercise program AND make it to BJJ and naginata practice, waking up early, trying not to let my natural state of entropy take over the apartment, and just trying to keep my neurotic self get to crazy.
And I have a feeling December is going to be pretty busy too. But I promise a nice update with pictures...in December!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
i figure while i'm up...
i should make a short post. i warn you- it's 1:30 AM, i'm cold and i'm listening to bright eyes. this isn't going to be a happy post.
i'm getting nowhere fast with NaNoWriMo. Mostly my own fault. The story is coming to me and I should be writing it down but i'm procrastinating...by baking or cooking. or doing whatever else. and more recently, i've been telling myself that maybe i should just give this up- there are other things i should be doing/could be doing and that i don't have to completely give it up- just quit trying to get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. i can't tell if it's me trying to give myself an out or if it's me just plain giving up.
i'm still stuck at a plateau weight-wise. i do feel stronger from my morning routine though and that's nice i guess. but it's really bringing me down a little- the whole not losing weight thing. and it's so hard for me to imagine an end in sight. most people have a goal weight of when they remembered they were at their best. they have a visual of their target. i can't remember a time in my life that i think i look good. the "i think" is present tense because maybe at the time i didn't really think about how i looked or my weight didn't affect me as much. i'm looking at this picture of me at a party in the 8th grade. i remember that outfit- an over-sized white short sleeve military shirt that may actually be one of my uncle's so it has my last name on it, a white tank top underneath that and olive colored baggy cargo pants. everyone else is wearing jeans. i'm looking like a bum. i had acne too. gosh. what an awkward time. but i don't remember feeling as bad about myself as i do now. ignorance is bliss?
today i was admiring how cute and "mochi-mochi" one of my students is. (mochi-mochi is something like....chubby and squishy) she's so cuuuuuuute. she has this big belly and puffy cheeks and squeezable arms. i just want to roll her or something. i was thinking...if i ever have a baby girl, i'd want a baby like her- all rolypoly and mochi-mochi. but then i thought no, i wouldn't want her to be like that because she might stay like that as she grew up and have to go through what i went through/go through. that's so sad! i shouldn't think like that.
anyway, whine whine whine...bottom line is that i'm not trying hard enough. that's all.
my JLPT is sneaking up on me soon. and i have the nagianta competition this saturday. and next sunday is my boss' wedding which i still need an outfit for (i found a dress i really liked online but the shipping makes it prohibitively expensive and now i have to actually shop and i'm afraid of that- see above issues) and i still have to finish taping the video that i need to edit that has to be played at the wedding. whew. i was also hoping to make a little thanksgiving dinner for just me and ryan or maybe a few people we know. but i think that's probably a no-go since i don't know if i really want to put all that work into it. i have to realize that sometimes i can't have it all.
Gosh, what is this? Livejournal circa 1999?
I'm going to bed. this is just pathetic. i'll feel better in the morning.
i'm getting nowhere fast with NaNoWriMo. Mostly my own fault. The story is coming to me and I should be writing it down but i'm procrastinating...by baking or cooking. or doing whatever else. and more recently, i've been telling myself that maybe i should just give this up- there are other things i should be doing/could be doing and that i don't have to completely give it up- just quit trying to get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. i can't tell if it's me trying to give myself an out or if it's me just plain giving up.
i'm still stuck at a plateau weight-wise. i do feel stronger from my morning routine though and that's nice i guess. but it's really bringing me down a little- the whole not losing weight thing. and it's so hard for me to imagine an end in sight. most people have a goal weight of when they remembered they were at their best. they have a visual of their target. i can't remember a time in my life that i think i look good. the "i think" is present tense because maybe at the time i didn't really think about how i looked or my weight didn't affect me as much. i'm looking at this picture of me at a party in the 8th grade. i remember that outfit- an over-sized white short sleeve military shirt that may actually be one of my uncle's so it has my last name on it, a white tank top underneath that and olive colored baggy cargo pants. everyone else is wearing jeans. i'm looking like a bum. i had acne too. gosh. what an awkward time. but i don't remember feeling as bad about myself as i do now. ignorance is bliss?
today i was admiring how cute and "mochi-mochi" one of my students is. (mochi-mochi is something like....chubby and squishy) she's so cuuuuuuute. she has this big belly and puffy cheeks and squeezable arms. i just want to roll her or something. i was thinking...if i ever have a baby girl, i'd want a baby like her- all rolypoly and mochi-mochi. but then i thought no, i wouldn't want her to be like that because she might stay like that as she grew up and have to go through what i went through/go through. that's so sad! i shouldn't think like that.
anyway, whine whine whine...bottom line is that i'm not trying hard enough. that's all.
my JLPT is sneaking up on me soon. and i have the nagianta competition this saturday. and next sunday is my boss' wedding which i still need an outfit for (i found a dress i really liked online but the shipping makes it prohibitively expensive and now i have to actually shop and i'm afraid of that- see above issues) and i still have to finish taping the video that i need to edit that has to be played at the wedding. whew. i was also hoping to make a little thanksgiving dinner for just me and ryan or maybe a few people we know. but i think that's probably a no-go since i don't know if i really want to put all that work into it. i have to realize that sometimes i can't have it all.
Gosh, what is this? Livejournal circa 1999?
I'm going to bed. this is just pathetic. i'll feel better in the morning.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Motivation from Hamamasu
Ryan and I recently took a trip to Hamamasu. It was business for him (a 3 day trip just to teach one 50-minute class!) and a break for me. It happened to land when I had a day off so we were able to leave one afternoon, teach a class the next day and then leave in the morning the next day so that I could still make it to my school's Halloween party.
Hamamasu High School is a very special school. Located in a visibly dying town, it has only one student and will be closing this year, the same time that the student graduates. Imagine being that lucky girl who gets to sit in the middle of a classroom all day by herself while teachers rotate each period. I wish I had asked more about her education but from the information I did get I gather that she learns the usual subjects- Math, English, Japanese, Chemistry, Physical Education, etc- but she's also learning sign language! How cool?!
We visited this school last year too. At the time it had 9 students (or what is 8?). During that visit the principal was kind enough to drive us around to some Hamamasu sights- an observation deck and thousand year old wishing trees. The view from the deck was amazing- I think he even said on a clear day we could see Russia. Haha, maybe I made that up.
This visit, we were able to have an audience with the principal again and he showed us some newspaper clippings. One written by some education expert about the need to keep JET running and another about a retail worker who decreased his sleep to 3 hours a night so that he could learn Italian and help his company buy expensive Italian suits directly from Italy. I guess he was trying to motivate us to learn Japanese but I also kind of felt I was under scrutiny. I don't think Ryan felt this way but maybe I'm just extremely insecure about my Japanese.
At least I've taken something out of it. Today is day 5 of waking up early and I am still feeling good! I've delved back into my studying (should update that blog), started doing a 10 minute yoga energizer after my "AM 150" (50 pushups/50 ab exercises/50 squats) in the morning, and after a small obstacle have started writing for my NaNoWriMo. Even though it's so cold in the mornings now (and we haven't picked up any 灯油 for our heater yet), I try to focus on what's really going to make me happy and proud. Staying in bed is only going to make me feel good until I get up. Hopefully I don't lose steam...
November spawned a monster...and it's me.
Hamamasu High School is a very special school. Located in a visibly dying town, it has only one student and will be closing this year, the same time that the student graduates. Imagine being that lucky girl who gets to sit in the middle of a classroom all day by herself while teachers rotate each period. I wish I had asked more about her education but from the information I did get I gather that she learns the usual subjects- Math, English, Japanese, Chemistry, Physical Education, etc- but she's also learning sign language! How cool?!
We visited this school last year too. At the time it had 9 students (or what is 8?). During that visit the principal was kind enough to drive us around to some Hamamasu sights- an observation deck and thousand year old wishing trees. The view from the deck was amazing- I think he even said on a clear day we could see Russia. Haha, maybe I made that up.
This visit, we were able to have an audience with the principal again and he showed us some newspaper clippings. One written by some education expert about the need to keep JET running and another about a retail worker who decreased his sleep to 3 hours a night so that he could learn Italian and help his company buy expensive Italian suits directly from Italy. I guess he was trying to motivate us to learn Japanese but I also kind of felt I was under scrutiny. I don't think Ryan felt this way but maybe I'm just extremely insecure about my Japanese.
At least I've taken something out of it. Today is day 5 of waking up early and I am still feeling good! I've delved back into my studying (should update that blog), started doing a 10 minute yoga energizer after my "AM 150" (50 pushups/50 ab exercises/50 squats) in the morning, and after a small obstacle have started writing for my NaNoWriMo. Even though it's so cold in the mornings now (and we haven't picked up any 灯油 for our heater yet), I try to focus on what's really going to make me happy and proud. Staying in bed is only going to make me feel good until I get up. Hopefully I don't lose steam...
November spawned a monster...and it's me.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Quick Chek Girl
This song came on while I was riding home from naginata practice today and it made me feel so...nostalgic. Honestly, usually, I don't get like that. I know a lot of people that create strong associations with music. I never really thought I did that. I mean, I love music and there are many songs that move me. But hearing that particular song on this particular night was just so...なつかしい...it means nostalgic but to me the word feels like something more than just nostalgic.
This song reminds me of friends that have long become such different people; of a time when I was a different person...or maybe even not yet a person, still something fumbling for an identity, an anchor, a niche. It makes me think of the first time I heard this album...a birthday present from Jeremy. Was it even a birthday present? I feel like it saved me from something...I don't know what. I guess this is the cliched "rock music opened my eyes" story.
It makes me think of long hot summers spent trying to stay cool AND be cool. It makes me remember how different I felt or maybe wanted to be from everyone else in (Catholic) school.
It makes me think of that time I was forced to miss Warped Tour and had to go to Disneyworld with my family instead. Haha. Or that time I DID go to Warped Tour and I blew dirt out of my nose for three days. The first time I dyed my hair. I remember that bus ride...my hair was green. I felt absolutely wicked. I even wanted to get a tattoo inspired by this band. It was supposed to be this:
But what is it about this song, this album, this band? I guess it just speaks to me. It makes me feel like...well, it makes me feel like everything's going to be OK. And I guess it's really withstood the test of time...26 year old me feels it as much as 12 year old me did.
Alas, I've never even seen them live. Can you believe that?! Maybe one day it'll all come together and I can see them. Rock on, Bouncing Souls...Rock on!
This song reminds me of friends that have long become such different people; of a time when I was a different person...or maybe even not yet a person, still something fumbling for an identity, an anchor, a niche. It makes me think of the first time I heard this album...a birthday present from Jeremy. Was it even a birthday present? I feel like it saved me from something...I don't know what. I guess this is the cliched "rock music opened my eyes" story.
It makes me think of long hot summers spent trying to stay cool AND be cool. It makes me remember how different I felt or maybe wanted to be from everyone else in (Catholic) school.
It makes me think of that time I was forced to miss Warped Tour and had to go to Disneyworld with my family instead. Haha. Or that time I DID go to Warped Tour and I blew dirt out of my nose for three days. The first time I dyed my hair. I remember that bus ride...my hair was green. I felt absolutely wicked. I even wanted to get a tattoo inspired by this band. It was supposed to be this:
But what is it about this song, this album, this band? I guess it just speaks to me. It makes me feel like...well, it makes me feel like everything's going to be OK. And I guess it's really withstood the test of time...26 year old me feels it as much as 12 year old me did.
Alas, I've never even seen them live. Can you believe that?! Maybe one day it'll all come together and I can see them. Rock on, Bouncing Souls...Rock on!
Monday, November 1, 2010
November Spawned A Monster
This was supposed to be written yesterday...I hope that`s not a sign of things to come for this month. It's going to be so busy...
National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) starts today. I'm going to actually do it this year. Really. I will. I wish I had actually done the prep for it but it's OK. It's all coming from a dream I had. Well, the premise is. I just think that maybe lately the topic I'm writing on has been overdone. Oh well. More on that later. I'm going to NOT worry about content and just try to focus on getting it done...writing over a 1000 words a day is going to be challenging with all the other things I have to do.
What else is going on? Well, I'm half a kilo behind on my weight goal for the beginning of November so that`s a bummer. But it's my own fault. I was ahead before so I thought I could take it easy and also i was in denial that I was probably at a plateau. My obstacles are: cold weather preventing me from running, frequent visits to the import store, bread, and cold weather.
My JLPT exam is in ONE MONTH. Yikes.
I have a naginata taikai this month.
My boss' wedding is this month and we are rushing to make a video of the kids singing Can't Help Falling In Love. There is great news on the work front though: The school has decided to take a trip to Hawaii as a belated 5 year anniversary celebration and I am lucky enough to be working there (in its 8th year) when they decided to finally go. Free trip to Hawaii!!! Details on that are coming by the end of the month.
Well, I want to write a few words before bedtime for NaNoWriMo...so goodnight!
Well, I want to write a few words before bedtime for NaNoWriMo...so goodnight!
BTW I have completed a few things on the list!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
blargh...
Another weekend; same situation. The situation being that on Saturday the weather was spectacular and we had naginata class from 2-5PM. And today's weather was...very grey, windy and wet.
Add to that that although I had high goals for today, I basically did nothing. Gah. What I DID do was catch up on TV and beat a difficult mission in Advance Wars. What I didn't do was go for a run. Or make satsumaimo cakes. Or even think about Japanese.
But maybe I need to ease up on myself a little. It's too late now. So I'll just start over again tomorrow.
Add to that that although I had high goals for today, I basically did nothing. Gah. What I DID do was catch up on TV and beat a difficult mission in Advance Wars. What I didn't do was go for a run. Or make satsumaimo cakes. Or even think about Japanese.
But maybe I need to ease up on myself a little. It's too late now. So I'll just start over again tomorrow.
Monday, October 11, 2010
3 day weekend
Last weekend was a 3-day weekend for the Japanese and some lucky Americans whose companies celebrate Columbus day! Our holiday was for "Health and Sports Day." I love the national holidays here.
Lately weekends have been kind of piss poor...the weather is always terrible or at least terrible compared with the the rest of week (aka when we have work and no free time). Sometimes, the only good day of the weekend is Saturday and guess what? We have 4 hours of naginata practice on Saturdays. And not even in the mornings...smack dab in the middle of the day during prime sunshine hours. No, I'm not bitter about this. I'm downright depressed. I think it's a little abnormal to be depressed about the weather though, isn't it? So I can't blame just the weather. Honestly, like I told Ryan, I'm having a bit of a "existential crisis" or some kind of lustrumnal disorder (I made up "lustrumnal"...coming from the word lustrum meaning a period of 5 years. No, I didn't remember it from Latin class. Sorry, THHS.) I'm in a dark place...a darker place than usual. Hahaha. No need for alarm. I'll work it out. Actually, I went for a run and feel a little better already. Also writing this blog is helping too. I guess it puts things in perspective. I'm not bitter about having naginata practice. I love naginata.
Anyway on to the list...
23. Hike the Maruyama trail. FAIL
We tried to take advantage of the good weather on Monday (Health and Sports Day) by trying to find this trail. We walked all over Maruyama park...even tried just climbing up something that *looked* like a trail but abruptly ended even though there seemed to be signs on it. Also, the dirt was really muddy from the wet weather that we've been having and I was slipping all over the place. And Ryan got bitten by bugs. It was pretty miserable I guess. But at least we tried. And I will try again!
At least...
We did get to see a lot of cute little boys and girls wearing kimono and hakama for shichigosan celebration. Basically it's a celebration for 3, 5, and 7 year old boys and girls. They get taken to the temple and petitions are made to the gods for a healthy and happy life. Last year, we were guests in one for the girls I tutor.
And we did go out and about to celebrate our health and sports...in the spirit of the holiday!
29. Grow your hair until January. (THEN you can do whatever you want with it.) FAIL
Well, I tried to grow my hair but Ryan made a hair appointment and I decided I would just do it! So that takes this off the list. Pictures later.
15. Start an indoor herb garden. (Rosemary is a MUST!)
On Friday, I bought a rosemary plant, seeds for basil and parsley and a seeding tray. More on that later...
Coming soon:
44. Make satsumaimo cakes.
18. Buy yourself a piece of naginata bogu.
40. Compete in a naginata tournament and win one of your shiai.
28. Do something for Halloween.
42. Make a Halloween costume.
30. Buy new underwear.
25. Buy yourself a pair of knee high boots finally.
Lately weekends have been kind of piss poor...the weather is always terrible or at least terrible compared with the the rest of week (aka when we have work and no free time). Sometimes, the only good day of the weekend is Saturday and guess what? We have 4 hours of naginata practice on Saturdays. And not even in the mornings...smack dab in the middle of the day during prime sunshine hours. No, I'm not bitter about this. I'm downright depressed. I think it's a little abnormal to be depressed about the weather though, isn't it? So I can't blame just the weather. Honestly, like I told Ryan, I'm having a bit of a "existential crisis" or some kind of lustrumnal disorder (I made up "lustrumnal"...coming from the word lustrum meaning a period of 5 years. No, I didn't remember it from Latin class. Sorry, THHS.) I'm in a dark place...a darker place than usual. Hahaha. No need for alarm. I'll work it out. Actually, I went for a run and feel a little better already. Also writing this blog is helping too. I guess it puts things in perspective. I'm not bitter about having naginata practice. I love naginata.
Anyway on to the list...
23. Hike the Maruyama trail. FAIL
We tried to take advantage of the good weather on Monday (Health and Sports Day) by trying to find this trail. We walked all over Maruyama park...even tried just climbing up something that *looked* like a trail but abruptly ended even though there seemed to be signs on it. Also, the dirt was really muddy from the wet weather that we've been having and I was slipping all over the place. And Ryan got bitten by bugs. It was pretty miserable I guess. But at least we tried. And I will try again!
At least...
We did get to see a lot of cute little boys and girls wearing kimono and hakama for shichigosan celebration. Basically it's a celebration for 3, 5, and 7 year old boys and girls. They get taken to the temple and petitions are made to the gods for a healthy and happy life. Last year, we were guests in one for the girls I tutor.
And we did go out and about to celebrate our health and sports...in the spirit of the holiday!
29. Grow your hair until January. (THEN you can do whatever you want with it.) FAIL
Well, I tried to grow my hair but Ryan made a hair appointment and I decided I would just do it! So that takes this off the list. Pictures later.
15. Start an indoor herb garden. (Rosemary is a MUST!)
On Friday, I bought a rosemary plant, seeds for basil and parsley and a seeding tray. More on that later...
Coming soon:
44. Make satsumaimo cakes.
18. Buy yourself a piece of naginata bogu.
40. Compete in a naginata tournament and win one of your shiai.
28. Do something for Halloween.
42. Make a Halloween costume.
30. Buy new underwear.
25. Buy yourself a pair of knee high boots finally.
Monday, October 4, 2010
3. Run in a 5K Race.
As of October 3, 2010, I am an official road runner!!
I'm finding it difficult to organize and elaborate on all my thoughts about this momentous achievement...so I'll just start from the beginning. The very beginning...
When did I decide to start running? I don't remember...must have been months ago. Maybe it was June. I downloaded the Couch-2-5K iPhone app. I can't remember now if it was because I intended to run a 5K or if I wanted to lose weight. It definitely wasn't because I needed something to do or because I loved running.
At this point, let me admit this: I hate running. See, I just don't see the point. If I wanted to get from point A to point B...why would choose to run? I have a bicycle- I can get there faster and use less energy. Plus, it takes a lot of time. I don't think the time to benefit ratio is that great either. For instance, if my intention was to lose weight, I think a good diet and a good circuit training program would have sufficed. I hate running. It's boring. It's time consuming. And, yeah, it's painful- not just to the body but to the mind. I never realized how strong my quitting complex was. My mind was like...like one of those kids who doesn't want to go where their parents are taking them so they kind of sit down and nothing's going to make them move. That's my mind. It never wants to resolve this problem I have with running.
So how do I go from that train of thought to a 5K? Well, just because I "hate" running doesn't mean I don't appreciate the hard work that goes into it. I have always looked up to marathoners. I guess because I hate it so much and know so well how hard it is, I just think runners are this awesome breed of human. And then I realized they weren't. I realized the only thing that's different about them is that they tried. I realized that I had been saying "If only..." and "I wish..." and "One day..." and talking about how cool it was. Well, that's when I saw the advertisements for the Sapporo Marathon in October and signed myself up!
Let's fast forward through the boring training part: I graduated from the C25K program in the summer and started running by myself in the fall. By the end of September, I was doing a 5K at a solid 35minutes. I was able to get a 10minute mile too. The longest distance I've run so far is about 6-7K. Pretty good for someone who never really ran in her life and hated running, don't you think?
So I signed up for this 5K back in August(just before the deadline and using a website that was all in Japanese, by the way!) and that brings us to October 3rd. (I just realized I wrote about the day before the race...on the day before the race. So I don't think I need to mention it again!)
It was a gloomy day- clouds threatening to pour down at any second. I slept well, ate a good breakfast (fried egg on rice with ketchup and half a banana), made a 35 minute playlist on my iPhone and got to the starting line at the exact time that the race started. I barely had enough time to say bye to Ryan! Luckily the walk from the train station to the stadium was a good warm-up.
The race was awesome. It was like being part of one gigantic animal, winding its way around this park and tearing down everything in its path. It was awesome! I said that already. I guess I was pretty amped because I just felt great the entire time and I was running faster than ever- my iPhone program kept reminding me that I was way ahead of my target pace. Also, no pain at all- not even a side cramp. The most unusual thing though was that about 3/4 into the race, I started getting this hot, burning feeling in the pit of my stomach- as if my belly was blushing. It wasn't pain or nausea or hunger. It was just there and it was kind of comforting in a way. (Except not comforting in that I had never felt it before so I was a little concerned.)
When I finally got to the stadium, I was so HAPPY. I didn't even think about stopping once during the race except when we started to make our way to the stadium where I knew the finish line was. I was pretty upset though that once we got there we had to make a loop around it to get to the finish line. It took all I had not to just stop before crossing the finish line. And guess what! My 35 minute playlist was still playing! I finished in 30 minutes! My best time ever!
I collected my free sports waters, made a post run video, somehow got lost and ended up walking to the farther subway station and finally made it home to a hot shower and lunch at Jacksonville Burger. Also, I ate 4 cupcakes. It was a fine day.
I'm not gonna lie: Running does feel good. Of course, not all the time. There are times when I have a crap run and I never want to run again. Most of the time, it's just a run- neither good nor bad. But sometimes, it can be amazing. Amazing enough for me to run another day? Yeah, I think so. So I guess that means next year...I'm running a half marathon! (Maybe. Honestly I'd settle for the 10K but my big mouth is telling everyone I'm going to do a half marathon so I better nut up, or shut up. Right?)
I'm finding it difficult to organize and elaborate on all my thoughts about this momentous achievement...so I'll just start from the beginning. The very beginning...
When did I decide to start running? I don't remember...must have been months ago. Maybe it was June. I downloaded the Couch-2-5K iPhone app. I can't remember now if it was because I intended to run a 5K or if I wanted to lose weight. It definitely wasn't because I needed something to do or because I loved running.
At this point, let me admit this: I hate running. See, I just don't see the point. If I wanted to get from point A to point B...why would choose to run? I have a bicycle- I can get there faster and use less energy. Plus, it takes a lot of time. I don't think the time to benefit ratio is that great either. For instance, if my intention was to lose weight, I think a good diet and a good circuit training program would have sufficed. I hate running. It's boring. It's time consuming. And, yeah, it's painful- not just to the body but to the mind. I never realized how strong my quitting complex was. My mind was like...like one of those kids who doesn't want to go where their parents are taking them so they kind of sit down and nothing's going to make them move. That's my mind. It never wants to resolve this problem I have with running.
So how do I go from that train of thought to a 5K? Well, just because I "hate" running doesn't mean I don't appreciate the hard work that goes into it. I have always looked up to marathoners. I guess because I hate it so much and know so well how hard it is, I just think runners are this awesome breed of human. And then I realized they weren't. I realized the only thing that's different about them is that they tried. I realized that I had been saying "If only..." and "I wish..." and "One day..." and talking about how cool it was. Well, that's when I saw the advertisements for the Sapporo Marathon in October and signed myself up!
Let's fast forward through the boring training part: I graduated from the C25K program in the summer and started running by myself in the fall. By the end of September, I was doing a 5K at a solid 35minutes. I was able to get a 10minute mile too. The longest distance I've run so far is about 6-7K. Pretty good for someone who never really ran in her life and hated running, don't you think?
So I signed up for this 5K back in August(just before the deadline and using a website that was all in Japanese, by the way!) and that brings us to October 3rd. (I just realized I wrote about the day before the race...on the day before the race. So I don't think I need to mention it again!)
It was a gloomy day- clouds threatening to pour down at any second. I slept well, ate a good breakfast (fried egg on rice with ketchup and half a banana), made a 35 minute playlist on my iPhone and got to the starting line at the exact time that the race started. I barely had enough time to say bye to Ryan! Luckily the walk from the train station to the stadium was a good warm-up.
The race was awesome. It was like being part of one gigantic animal, winding its way around this park and tearing down everything in its path. It was awesome! I said that already. I guess I was pretty amped because I just felt great the entire time and I was running faster than ever- my iPhone program kept reminding me that I was way ahead of my target pace. Also, no pain at all- not even a side cramp. The most unusual thing though was that about 3/4 into the race, I started getting this hot, burning feeling in the pit of my stomach- as if my belly was blushing. It wasn't pain or nausea or hunger. It was just there and it was kind of comforting in a way. (Except not comforting in that I had never felt it before so I was a little concerned.)
When I finally got to the stadium, I was so HAPPY. I didn't even think about stopping once during the race except when we started to make our way to the stadium where I knew the finish line was. I was pretty upset though that once we got there we had to make a loop around it to get to the finish line. It took all I had not to just stop before crossing the finish line. And guess what! My 35 minute playlist was still playing! I finished in 30 minutes! My best time ever!
I collected my free sports waters, made a post run video, somehow got lost and ended up walking to the farther subway station and finally made it home to a hot shower and lunch at Jacksonville Burger. Also, I ate 4 cupcakes. It was a fine day.
I'm not gonna lie: Running does feel good. Of course, not all the time. There are times when I have a crap run and I never want to run again. Most of the time, it's just a run- neither good nor bad. But sometimes, it can be amazing. Amazing enough for me to run another day? Yeah, I think so. So I guess that means next year...I'm running a half marathon! (Maybe. Honestly I'd settle for the 10K but my big mouth is telling everyone I'm going to do a half marathon so I better nut up, or shut up. Right?)
Saturday, October 2, 2010
A Letter to Myself on the Eve of my first 5K race
Dear Jane,
This is your post-run optimistic self talking...YOU CAN DO THIS! Honestly though, even the pessimist in you thinks it's possible.
All I want from you tomorrow is to not give up. Don't stop. Don't think. Just run. JFDI. Run as best as you can and don't you dare lose focus. The goal is to finish. Just finish. This is your first race. This is the first time that you've committed yourself to running and are completing this goal. It's a small goal, yes but you went from not running...not even liking running...and now you're wearing a number card and a runner's tag and you're an official runner. It's big for you and I don't want you to forget that just because it's a relatively small feat.
Don't run anybody else's race but your own. Yes, there's going to be a lot of people there. There's going to be a lot of people that are going to be faster than you, leaner than you, tougher than you. But there's nothing you can do about that during your race. It's YOUR race and the only person you're running against is yourself. Ohkay, technically, you're running against thousands of other people but your main opponent is yourself. Your mantra for tomorrow: It's MY race.
Be kind to yourself. You know your limits and you also know how far you can push them. Push them...but listen to your heart. Not your mind. It's going to tell you that you should stop. You can't possibly keep that pace. You're so stupid for even trying. But don't stop. Slow down if you have to, but don't stop. It sounds cruel not to stop when you think you want to/have to but you're underestimating yourself. Your cruelty in this case will be a kindness later when you look back and see what you've done. Pain is temporary; pride is forever. And if you really feel like you can't hold on remember: A hero holds on one minute longer!
Before you know it, you'll be done. It's going to be awesome. Who cares how long it took you? (Though I'm sure you can do it in 35 minutes, which is a satisfactory average time for you.) You're going to enter that stadium and run past the finish line and it's going to feel awesome! Now the only thing you have to worry about it your finish line pose...you suck at those kind of things.
Yours Truly,
Yourself
So today I picked up my number card at Nakajima Park. Before I did, I did a 20 minute run around the park to get myself psyched for the race tomorrow. The run was great- I felt good. I hadn't run in four days and I was a little worried that I had shot myself in the foot by being so lazy. The weather was great too. I ran 2.75K in 20 minutes. Pretty slow pace but hey, I just wanted to let off some steam and reassure myself that I could still run after 4 days of no running. I kept a good 7 min/km pace so tomorrow's time shouldn't be so terrible. The adrenaline could go both ways for me though- getting me excited and making me run faster or making me feel discouraged and slower.
I felt the adrenaline just going into the sports center to pick up my number card and tag. There were so many people picking up their stuff too. People of all shapes and sizes and ages. (Let's not get too crazy though, most shapes were athletic and most sizes were small...both descriptions I don't really identify with.) It made me feel...I don't know. "Bad" feelings I guess.
Overall, I'm excited to be running tomorrow. I know I can finish and I'm proud of myself for starting. Tomorrow I don't want to think about my body issues or my adequacy issues. Tomorrow I want to celebrate my achievement and not think about it's relativity. I still haven't decided what to do post-race. I think I'm going to pick up a box of Betty Crocker cake mix at the import store to make cupcakes though. Hahaha.
Actually I was so excited that I told Ryan that I was thinking about doing the half marathon next year. That's a far cry from the thought I had this week which was that I would quit running after the race because I feel I could do more effective exercises with my time and also because I don't really like running. Anyway, let's see how it all pans out...
Think fast thoughts for me tomorrow!
This is your post-run optimistic self talking...YOU CAN DO THIS! Honestly though, even the pessimist in you thinks it's possible.
All I want from you tomorrow is to not give up. Don't stop. Don't think. Just run. JFDI. Run as best as you can and don't you dare lose focus. The goal is to finish. Just finish. This is your first race. This is the first time that you've committed yourself to running and are completing this goal. It's a small goal, yes but you went from not running...not even liking running...and now you're wearing a number card and a runner's tag and you're an official runner. It's big for you and I don't want you to forget that just because it's a relatively small feat.
Don't run anybody else's race but your own. Yes, there's going to be a lot of people there. There's going to be a lot of people that are going to be faster than you, leaner than you, tougher than you. But there's nothing you can do about that during your race. It's YOUR race and the only person you're running against is yourself. Ohkay, technically, you're running against thousands of other people but your main opponent is yourself. Your mantra for tomorrow: It's MY race.
Be kind to yourself. You know your limits and you also know how far you can push them. Push them...but listen to your heart. Not your mind. It's going to tell you that you should stop. You can't possibly keep that pace. You're so stupid for even trying. But don't stop. Slow down if you have to, but don't stop. It sounds cruel not to stop when you think you want to/have to but you're underestimating yourself. Your cruelty in this case will be a kindness later when you look back and see what you've done. Pain is temporary; pride is forever. And if you really feel like you can't hold on remember: A hero holds on one minute longer!
Before you know it, you'll be done. It's going to be awesome. Who cares how long it took you? (Though I'm sure you can do it in 35 minutes, which is a satisfactory average time for you.) You're going to enter that stadium and run past the finish line and it's going to feel awesome! Now the only thing you have to worry about it your finish line pose...you suck at those kind of things.
Yours Truly,
Yourself
So today I picked up my number card at Nakajima Park. Before I did, I did a 20 minute run around the park to get myself psyched for the race tomorrow. The run was great- I felt good. I hadn't run in four days and I was a little worried that I had shot myself in the foot by being so lazy. The weather was great too. I ran 2.75K in 20 minutes. Pretty slow pace but hey, I just wanted to let off some steam and reassure myself that I could still run after 4 days of no running. I kept a good 7 min/km pace so tomorrow's time shouldn't be so terrible. The adrenaline could go both ways for me though- getting me excited and making me run faster or making me feel discouraged and slower.
I felt the adrenaline just going into the sports center to pick up my number card and tag. There were so many people picking up their stuff too. People of all shapes and sizes and ages. (Let's not get too crazy though, most shapes were athletic and most sizes were small...both descriptions I don't really identify with.) It made me feel...I don't know. "Bad" feelings I guess.
Overall, I'm excited to be running tomorrow. I know I can finish and I'm proud of myself for starting. Tomorrow I don't want to think about my body issues or my adequacy issues. Tomorrow I want to celebrate my achievement and not think about it's relativity. I still haven't decided what to do post-race. I think I'm going to pick up a box of Betty Crocker cake mix at the import store to make cupcakes though. Hahaha.
Actually I was so excited that I told Ryan that I was thinking about doing the half marathon next year. That's a far cry from the thought I had this week which was that I would quit running after the race because I feel I could do more effective exercises with my time and also because I don't really like running. Anyway, let's see how it all pans out...
Think fast thoughts for me tomorrow!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
1. Lose 8 lbs
I've been working on this since the second week of September now and guess what! It needs to be updated to:
1. Lose 6 lbs.
As a prize for myself, I'm going to eat a whole chocolate cake. Just kidding. I'm getting myself a hoodie from Threadless- since it's Ziptember and that means free shipping to ANYWHERE (and that means even to Japan!). It's also a reward to myself for using my bike to commute to work, to training, to just about anywhere...Infinity MPG!
I know, I know. Wasn't the two pounds lost already a prize? YES, I should remember that. The goal is a prize in itself. I'm excited to get to January and to feel super proud of myself. I'm not sure what I'll look like but I'll know that I'll be at the lowest weight I can ever remember being at (though my memory is pretty poor). I have a few pictures of inspiration but I don't think just losing 8 pounds is going to quite get me to this:
Satoko Shinashi: MMA Fighter
To be honest, I don't feel like I'm working that hard. (Let's see how I feel at the end of October when I'm sure I'll plateau and not be able to get my monthly goal of losing 1kg and I'm kicking myself for not trying harder.) I run just about every other day. I have BJJ class three times a week and naginata twice a week. I'm doing my pushups. But I've been doing this stuff for awhile without much of a change.
I think the real reason is my diet and changing the way I think about food. I don't think I have a "bad diet." But little changes like eating a bowl of yogurt with chocolate rice puffs every morning instead of fried egg on rice help. It's probably less in calories, probably a little more nutritious and curbs my chocolate craving first thing in the morning! Also, it's so easy for me to just keep piling more rice in my bowl but with the yogurt, I am more careful with portions. I don't know why. I just am. I think it's the whole "health food" state-of-mind.
I've also been eating maitake mushroom in at least one meal a day. My friend told me about that he saw on TV that it helps with weight loss (Japanese diet fads!) but I actually did some research and what it does is help control your sugar level which in turn decreases hunger. The maitake mushroom is just great for your health in general. I also snack a lot more- I have something salty for elevensies (the kids at school have snacktime at 11 so I actually get my first hunger pang around that time too) and then something when I get home like a fruit. I eat very little at night now too. Before I used to think "Well, I'm going to train soon so I better load up on calories/energy." But I've stopped that way of thinking and replaced it with "Still have more leftover calories to burn from the day so I better fight hard!"
Anyway, I don't think it should be hard. My goal is 1kg a month. That's only 2.2 pounds. I think it's extremely realistic if I am smart about my diet choices and if I continue my ninja warrior training.
1. Lose 6 lbs.
As a prize for myself, I'm going to eat a whole chocolate cake. Just kidding. I'm getting myself a hoodie from Threadless- since it's Ziptember and that means free shipping to ANYWHERE (and that means even to Japan!). It's also a reward to myself for using my bike to commute to work, to training, to just about anywhere...Infinity MPG!
I know, I know. Wasn't the two pounds lost already a prize? YES, I should remember that. The goal is a prize in itself. I'm excited to get to January and to feel super proud of myself. I'm not sure what I'll look like but I'll know that I'll be at the lowest weight I can ever remember being at (though my memory is pretty poor). I have a few pictures of inspiration but I don't think just losing 8 pounds is going to quite get me to this:
Satoko Shinashi: MMA FighterI think the real reason is my diet and changing the way I think about food. I don't think I have a "bad diet." But little changes like eating a bowl of yogurt with chocolate rice puffs every morning instead of fried egg on rice help. It's probably less in calories, probably a little more nutritious and curbs my chocolate craving first thing in the morning! Also, it's so easy for me to just keep piling more rice in my bowl but with the yogurt, I am more careful with portions. I don't know why. I just am. I think it's the whole "health food" state-of-mind.
I've also been eating maitake mushroom in at least one meal a day. My friend told me about that he saw on TV that it helps with weight loss (Japanese diet fads!) but I actually did some research and what it does is help control your sugar level which in turn decreases hunger. The maitake mushroom is just great for your health in general. I also snack a lot more- I have something salty for elevensies (the kids at school have snacktime at 11 so I actually get my first hunger pang around that time too) and then something when I get home like a fruit. I eat very little at night now too. Before I used to think "Well, I'm going to train soon so I better load up on calories/energy." But I've stopped that way of thinking and replaced it with "Still have more leftover calories to burn from the day so I better fight hard!"
Anyway, I don't think it should be hard. My goal is 1kg a month. That's only 2.2 pounds. I think it's extremely realistic if I am smart about my diet choices and if I continue my ninja warrior training.
A Life Journal
I'm a little iffy about restarting a personal blog...especially because I can't seem to consistently post. But I do think I've at least got a direction with my "100 things to do" list and I don't see why I should drag my feet about this. Anyway, here's to beginnings and seeing how things unfold.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
I am a book...
And these will be my pages...I've been meaning to start up another personal blog. I know...ANOTHER ONE?! Well, what makes this one different? Probably not much. But I just keep thinking: Wouldn't it be great to have a place to write (type) that all down and remember it? So in this blog you'll get to see my past and my present and maybe a little bit of a future.
Who am I?
Well, you'll see...I'm a book.
Who am I?
Well, you'll see...I'm a book.
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