November has been a truly busy month. And this last week and 2 days is not going to be any different.
I had Sports Day and all the prep that goes into that at the beginning...then a naginata competition in the middle...my coworker's wedding and the prep for that at the end and now I'm at the last stretch of studying going into my Japanese exam.
Listing it like that makes it feel like not so much...but honestly there was other stuff like trying to get that 50,000 word count (not happening- I'm at nearly 10,000 with no hope to even think about setting time aside to write more), trying to keep a regular exercise program AND make it to BJJ and naginata practice, waking up early, trying not to let my natural state of entropy take over the apartment, and just trying to keep my neurotic self get to crazy.
And I have a feeling December is going to be pretty busy too. But I promise a nice update with pictures...in December!!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
i figure while i'm up...
i should make a short post. i warn you- it's 1:30 AM, i'm cold and i'm listening to bright eyes. this isn't going to be a happy post.
i'm getting nowhere fast with NaNoWriMo. Mostly my own fault. The story is coming to me and I should be writing it down but i'm procrastinating...by baking or cooking. or doing whatever else. and more recently, i've been telling myself that maybe i should just give this up- there are other things i should be doing/could be doing and that i don't have to completely give it up- just quit trying to get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. i can't tell if it's me trying to give myself an out or if it's me just plain giving up.
i'm still stuck at a plateau weight-wise. i do feel stronger from my morning routine though and that's nice i guess. but it's really bringing me down a little- the whole not losing weight thing. and it's so hard for me to imagine an end in sight. most people have a goal weight of when they remembered they were at their best. they have a visual of their target. i can't remember a time in my life that i think i look good. the "i think" is present tense because maybe at the time i didn't really think about how i looked or my weight didn't affect me as much. i'm looking at this picture of me at a party in the 8th grade. i remember that outfit- an over-sized white short sleeve military shirt that may actually be one of my uncle's so it has my last name on it, a white tank top underneath that and olive colored baggy cargo pants. everyone else is wearing jeans. i'm looking like a bum. i had acne too. gosh. what an awkward time. but i don't remember feeling as bad about myself as i do now. ignorance is bliss?
today i was admiring how cute and "mochi-mochi" one of my students is. (mochi-mochi is something like....chubby and squishy) she's so cuuuuuuute. she has this big belly and puffy cheeks and squeezable arms. i just want to roll her or something. i was thinking...if i ever have a baby girl, i'd want a baby like her- all rolypoly and mochi-mochi. but then i thought no, i wouldn't want her to be like that because she might stay like that as she grew up and have to go through what i went through/go through. that's so sad! i shouldn't think like that.
anyway, whine whine whine...bottom line is that i'm not trying hard enough. that's all.
my JLPT is sneaking up on me soon. and i have the nagianta competition this saturday. and next sunday is my boss' wedding which i still need an outfit for (i found a dress i really liked online but the shipping makes it prohibitively expensive and now i have to actually shop and i'm afraid of that- see above issues) and i still have to finish taping the video that i need to edit that has to be played at the wedding. whew. i was also hoping to make a little thanksgiving dinner for just me and ryan or maybe a few people we know. but i think that's probably a no-go since i don't know if i really want to put all that work into it. i have to realize that sometimes i can't have it all.
Gosh, what is this? Livejournal circa 1999?
I'm going to bed. this is just pathetic. i'll feel better in the morning.
i'm getting nowhere fast with NaNoWriMo. Mostly my own fault. The story is coming to me and I should be writing it down but i'm procrastinating...by baking or cooking. or doing whatever else. and more recently, i've been telling myself that maybe i should just give this up- there are other things i should be doing/could be doing and that i don't have to completely give it up- just quit trying to get to 50,000 words by the end of the month. i can't tell if it's me trying to give myself an out or if it's me just plain giving up.
i'm still stuck at a plateau weight-wise. i do feel stronger from my morning routine though and that's nice i guess. but it's really bringing me down a little- the whole not losing weight thing. and it's so hard for me to imagine an end in sight. most people have a goal weight of when they remembered they were at their best. they have a visual of their target. i can't remember a time in my life that i think i look good. the "i think" is present tense because maybe at the time i didn't really think about how i looked or my weight didn't affect me as much. i'm looking at this picture of me at a party in the 8th grade. i remember that outfit- an over-sized white short sleeve military shirt that may actually be one of my uncle's so it has my last name on it, a white tank top underneath that and olive colored baggy cargo pants. everyone else is wearing jeans. i'm looking like a bum. i had acne too. gosh. what an awkward time. but i don't remember feeling as bad about myself as i do now. ignorance is bliss?
today i was admiring how cute and "mochi-mochi" one of my students is. (mochi-mochi is something like....chubby and squishy) she's so cuuuuuuute. she has this big belly and puffy cheeks and squeezable arms. i just want to roll her or something. i was thinking...if i ever have a baby girl, i'd want a baby like her- all rolypoly and mochi-mochi. but then i thought no, i wouldn't want her to be like that because she might stay like that as she grew up and have to go through what i went through/go through. that's so sad! i shouldn't think like that.
anyway, whine whine whine...bottom line is that i'm not trying hard enough. that's all.
my JLPT is sneaking up on me soon. and i have the nagianta competition this saturday. and next sunday is my boss' wedding which i still need an outfit for (i found a dress i really liked online but the shipping makes it prohibitively expensive and now i have to actually shop and i'm afraid of that- see above issues) and i still have to finish taping the video that i need to edit that has to be played at the wedding. whew. i was also hoping to make a little thanksgiving dinner for just me and ryan or maybe a few people we know. but i think that's probably a no-go since i don't know if i really want to put all that work into it. i have to realize that sometimes i can't have it all.
Gosh, what is this? Livejournal circa 1999?
I'm going to bed. this is just pathetic. i'll feel better in the morning.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Motivation from Hamamasu
Ryan and I recently took a trip to Hamamasu. It was business for him (a 3 day trip just to teach one 50-minute class!) and a break for me. It happened to land when I had a day off so we were able to leave one afternoon, teach a class the next day and then leave in the morning the next day so that I could still make it to my school's Halloween party.
Hamamasu High School is a very special school. Located in a visibly dying town, it has only one student and will be closing this year, the same time that the student graduates. Imagine being that lucky girl who gets to sit in the middle of a classroom all day by herself while teachers rotate each period. I wish I had asked more about her education but from the information I did get I gather that she learns the usual subjects- Math, English, Japanese, Chemistry, Physical Education, etc- but she's also learning sign language! How cool?!
We visited this school last year too. At the time it had 9 students (or what is 8?). During that visit the principal was kind enough to drive us around to some Hamamasu sights- an observation deck and thousand year old wishing trees. The view from the deck was amazing- I think he even said on a clear day we could see Russia. Haha, maybe I made that up.
This visit, we were able to have an audience with the principal again and he showed us some newspaper clippings. One written by some education expert about the need to keep JET running and another about a retail worker who decreased his sleep to 3 hours a night so that he could learn Italian and help his company buy expensive Italian suits directly from Italy. I guess he was trying to motivate us to learn Japanese but I also kind of felt I was under scrutiny. I don't think Ryan felt this way but maybe I'm just extremely insecure about my Japanese.
At least I've taken something out of it. Today is day 5 of waking up early and I am still feeling good! I've delved back into my studying (should update that blog), started doing a 10 minute yoga energizer after my "AM 150" (50 pushups/50 ab exercises/50 squats) in the morning, and after a small obstacle have started writing for my NaNoWriMo. Even though it's so cold in the mornings now (and we haven't picked up any 灯油 for our heater yet), I try to focus on what's really going to make me happy and proud. Staying in bed is only going to make me feel good until I get up. Hopefully I don't lose steam...
November spawned a monster...and it's me.
Hamamasu High School is a very special school. Located in a visibly dying town, it has only one student and will be closing this year, the same time that the student graduates. Imagine being that lucky girl who gets to sit in the middle of a classroom all day by herself while teachers rotate each period. I wish I had asked more about her education but from the information I did get I gather that she learns the usual subjects- Math, English, Japanese, Chemistry, Physical Education, etc- but she's also learning sign language! How cool?!
We visited this school last year too. At the time it had 9 students (or what is 8?). During that visit the principal was kind enough to drive us around to some Hamamasu sights- an observation deck and thousand year old wishing trees. The view from the deck was amazing- I think he even said on a clear day we could see Russia. Haha, maybe I made that up.
This visit, we were able to have an audience with the principal again and he showed us some newspaper clippings. One written by some education expert about the need to keep JET running and another about a retail worker who decreased his sleep to 3 hours a night so that he could learn Italian and help his company buy expensive Italian suits directly from Italy. I guess he was trying to motivate us to learn Japanese but I also kind of felt I was under scrutiny. I don't think Ryan felt this way but maybe I'm just extremely insecure about my Japanese.
At least I've taken something out of it. Today is day 5 of waking up early and I am still feeling good! I've delved back into my studying (should update that blog), started doing a 10 minute yoga energizer after my "AM 150" (50 pushups/50 ab exercises/50 squats) in the morning, and after a small obstacle have started writing for my NaNoWriMo. Even though it's so cold in the mornings now (and we haven't picked up any 灯油 for our heater yet), I try to focus on what's really going to make me happy and proud. Staying in bed is only going to make me feel good until I get up. Hopefully I don't lose steam...
November spawned a monster...and it's me.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Quick Chek Girl
This song came on while I was riding home from naginata practice today and it made me feel so...nostalgic. Honestly, usually, I don't get like that. I know a lot of people that create strong associations with music. I never really thought I did that. I mean, I love music and there are many songs that move me. But hearing that particular song on this particular night was just so...なつかしい...it means nostalgic but to me the word feels like something more than just nostalgic.
This song reminds me of friends that have long become such different people; of a time when I was a different person...or maybe even not yet a person, still something fumbling for an identity, an anchor, a niche. It makes me think of the first time I heard this album...a birthday present from Jeremy. Was it even a birthday present? I feel like it saved me from something...I don't know what. I guess this is the cliched "rock music opened my eyes" story.
It makes me think of long hot summers spent trying to stay cool AND be cool. It makes me remember how different I felt or maybe wanted to be from everyone else in (Catholic) school.
It makes me think of that time I was forced to miss Warped Tour and had to go to Disneyworld with my family instead. Haha. Or that time I DID go to Warped Tour and I blew dirt out of my nose for three days. The first time I dyed my hair. I remember that bus ride...my hair was green. I felt absolutely wicked. I even wanted to get a tattoo inspired by this band. It was supposed to be this:
But what is it about this song, this album, this band? I guess it just speaks to me. It makes me feel like...well, it makes me feel like everything's going to be OK. And I guess it's really withstood the test of time...26 year old me feels it as much as 12 year old me did.
Alas, I've never even seen them live. Can you believe that?! Maybe one day it'll all come together and I can see them. Rock on, Bouncing Souls...Rock on!
This song reminds me of friends that have long become such different people; of a time when I was a different person...or maybe even not yet a person, still something fumbling for an identity, an anchor, a niche. It makes me think of the first time I heard this album...a birthday present from Jeremy. Was it even a birthday present? I feel like it saved me from something...I don't know what. I guess this is the cliched "rock music opened my eyes" story.
It makes me think of long hot summers spent trying to stay cool AND be cool. It makes me remember how different I felt or maybe wanted to be from everyone else in (Catholic) school.
It makes me think of that time I was forced to miss Warped Tour and had to go to Disneyworld with my family instead. Haha. Or that time I DID go to Warped Tour and I blew dirt out of my nose for three days. The first time I dyed my hair. I remember that bus ride...my hair was green. I felt absolutely wicked. I even wanted to get a tattoo inspired by this band. It was supposed to be this:
But what is it about this song, this album, this band? I guess it just speaks to me. It makes me feel like...well, it makes me feel like everything's going to be OK. And I guess it's really withstood the test of time...26 year old me feels it as much as 12 year old me did.
Alas, I've never even seen them live. Can you believe that?! Maybe one day it'll all come together and I can see them. Rock on, Bouncing Souls...Rock on!
Monday, November 1, 2010
November Spawned A Monster
This was supposed to be written yesterday...I hope that`s not a sign of things to come for this month. It's going to be so busy...
National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) starts today. I'm going to actually do it this year. Really. I will. I wish I had actually done the prep for it but it's OK. It's all coming from a dream I had. Well, the premise is. I just think that maybe lately the topic I'm writing on has been overdone. Oh well. More on that later. I'm going to NOT worry about content and just try to focus on getting it done...writing over a 1000 words a day is going to be challenging with all the other things I have to do.
What else is going on? Well, I'm half a kilo behind on my weight goal for the beginning of November so that`s a bummer. But it's my own fault. I was ahead before so I thought I could take it easy and also i was in denial that I was probably at a plateau. My obstacles are: cold weather preventing me from running, frequent visits to the import store, bread, and cold weather.
My JLPT exam is in ONE MONTH. Yikes.
I have a naginata taikai this month.
My boss' wedding is this month and we are rushing to make a video of the kids singing Can't Help Falling In Love. There is great news on the work front though: The school has decided to take a trip to Hawaii as a belated 5 year anniversary celebration and I am lucky enough to be working there (in its 8th year) when they decided to finally go. Free trip to Hawaii!!! Details on that are coming by the end of the month.
Well, I want to write a few words before bedtime for NaNoWriMo...so goodnight!
Well, I want to write a few words before bedtime for NaNoWriMo...so goodnight!
BTW I have completed a few things on the list!
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