Weight

I'm not the girl who likes to go to the gym. Or the girl who likes to watch what she eats. In fact when I started writing and thinking about this post 9 days ago, I kind of threw myself into a funk. I don't want to call it what I thought it was because I know I have a knack for melodrama. In any case, I couldn't write this and am partially forcing myself to now...if only so that I could start writing about more exciting stuff! Thing is I guess I could have just glossed over it and gone on to the happy and nice things I want to talk about but I'm going to have to acknowledge it at some point.

Anyway, sorry but this lead up is going to be anti-climactic...

What really threw me for a loop is an old realization that I finally had to really, truly accept: Unless I drastically change my eating habits, I will never have the body I want. Whew. It's out there. I've said it before- I have never been and will never be skinny simply because I love to eat. I can work out all I want but it won't be enough. That right there...that really put me down.

Honestly, I don't think my diet is that bad. It really isn't. I am pretty much vegetarian. I cook most of my meals. I don't drink soda. In fact I drink at least 2 liters of water every day. I watch how much rice I eat.

But maybe I am guilty of eating too much. Or indulging in various guilty pleasures a bit more often than I should. For instance, I love bread. I can put away a damn half a loaf of white bread in one sitting. With butter. God, I love butter.

I just hate the idea of having to watch what I eat. It totally bums me out. I kind of wish that it would bum me out so much that I'd want to stop eating. Hahaha. That's a terrible wish and I hope it doesn't come true.

Anyway, I am more active now and have lost a little bit of weight so I know it's within reach: the body that I want. And I'm glad that I finally accepted that I'm going to have to do a lot more than just move my body around to get to where I want to be. Still, I'm not happy about it. I guess nobody can be though.

So I've added a Twitter gadget to the blog. It's my exercise Twitter. I've been pretty good about exercising every day. I'm pretty proud of myself and I know that I'm getting and looking stronger so maybe I shouldn't be so down on myself.

Now the second and more important part has to begin: an overhaul of what I eat. I haven't decided on a solution yet. It's difficult because like I said before, I don't see any glaring problems in my diet. But obviously I'm doing something wrong. Well, that's all I have to say for now...